At wit's end

This is the face of an exhausted hitchhiker wearing a reindeer costume and high-visibility vest.

10 November 2012
5.30PM
We're on French soil!!!!! Our German driver dropped us off at the Port of Dunkerque customer services, so now we've just got to make our way to the main city. We're on the European mainland this takes the hike to a whole new level!!!

5.45PM
Oh god. Where the hell is the main city?!

I'm really glad I took French 1 at school, by the way. I've never been more glad that I know how to hold a decent conversation, and at least take and follow directions in French. These people become so much more helpful the moment you show that you can speak their language. Now all we've got to do is go to the roundabout, make a right, and follow the straight road for 15 minutes until we hit the hotel.

6PM
So... We got the roundabout and followed it until we got to another roundabout, and now we don't know which way to go. There's a sign that points to the expressway we're supposed to be following, but that road is absolutely pitch black and I'm extremely hesitant about going anywhere near it. I mean, really, really dark. The kind of dark that makes your mind think it's hiding murderers and rapists by the side of the road.

Or maybe I've just been playing too much Cause of Death.

6.30PM
Where did all the vehicles go?! Why is it so goddamn quiet?!?!? Okay, okay. We're just going to say to hell with it and walk down that pitch black road. Never mind that there's a sign by the side of it that says 'danger' and it's got one a sign that's got a cross on it and I'm quite sure it means something like 'do not enter' and we're walking on a train track. Never mind. WE'RE GONNA DO IT.

Taking out the torchlights and high-visibility vests. See, I told you it would come in handy at some point!!!!

6.45PM
Will someone tell me why this country has so many goddamn roundabouts?!

7PM
Kids, we've hitched a bus. A BUS. Not a truck, not a car, but a BUS. I love France.

A nice French bus driver offered to take us way out of his route to drop us off in a place where there's some form of civilisation. I mean, the little LED sign thingy even says "detour" that's how far off he's going. I'm so happy right now. So happy to return to civilisation.



8.30PM
Hitching another bus!!!! We're on our way to Dunkerque station!!! Once again I am glad for my ability to speak French in France. "Nous sommes faire du stop, et nous ne pouvons pas faire d'argent... Ça c'est pour charité..."

Pardon my horrible French grammar. But it gets the message across.

9.30PM
Dunkerque train station, we have arrived! We have to get to Lille so that we can transfer to another train that goes to Amsterdam. The question is, how do we hitch a train to Lille?

10.10PM
We're on the train and it looks like luxury. The train left at about 9.50PM, ish, and we're just hoping that no conductor comes by because we haven't got tickets. We'll just explain that it's a charity hitchhike and everything, and it should be cool right? Yes. It shall go smoothly.



10.15PM
Uh-oh. Conductor's here.

10.30PM
Weeeeeeeell... That was interesting. So I basically said "Nous sommes etudiantes d'Université d'Edimbourg, et nous sommes faire du stop pour charité a Amsterdam... Nous ne pouvons pas faire d'argent..." "We are students from the University of Edinburgh, and we're hitchhiking for charity to Amsterdam... We can't pay for anything..." Same lines I've been repeating all evening. I know, it makes us sound like lazy hobos, but most lazy hobos don't wear reindeer costumes I think.

And he asked for our student cards (fair enough, to prove that we are indeed students) and our passports (fair enough, too). And then he wrote us fines, but didn't make us pay anything.

So he fake-fined us, then wished us good luck for that we'd get to Amsterdam safe and sound.

I love these French train conductors.

11PM
We are in Lille, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to proceed from here since we are once again in the heart of the city. The admin team in Amsterdam texted to say that we should take the Metro line 2 out to the edge of Lille, and then try to hitch from the side of the expressway there. That's exactly what we're going to do.

11.30PM
We bumped into a group of French teenagers, coming out of the metro, and I could swear they were high on weed (we could smell it on them). I tried to ignore them at first, but they followed behind us and they started harassing Karan and Jasmine so I decided to stop pretending I couldn't understand them. Which is when one of them told me "tu es très charment mademoiselle" and that was rather flattering, even coming from a guy high on weed. They don't call the French les amoureux for nothing.

And they gave us instructions on how to get across to Belgium - straight on and turn right at the Carrefour, then follow the road in that direction. Guess they were rather nice after all.

11 November 2012
12AM
I'm pretty sure that at some point we walked across the French-Belgian border on foot. I'm not sure when, but I'm starting to see signboards in not-French, which means it's probably Dutch or Flemish or whatever languages they speak in Belgium.

Yeah... I just walked across a national boundary on foot. Are we awesome or what?

1.30AM
So far, we've been trying to hitch by the side of this road for what seems like forever, and the only two cars that've stopped have been cars full of boys who I swear were high on something. It's not turning out to be a very good night. We're next to a car showroom, me wearing my bright high-visibility vest, and all I want to do is walk into that showroom, get a car, and drive all the way to Amsterdam. There's a reason I've got a driving license!

2AM
More police cars. I guess it was bound to happen, three dodgy people in reindeer and dinosaur costumes by the side of a Belgian road at 2AM in the morning trying to hitchhike to Amsterdam. They asked to see our passports, too - just to make sure we're not weird illegal immigrants or something, I guess. They are driving us to a hotel or somewhere we can spend the night before trying for another hitchhike tomorrow morning.

2.15AM
Mother of all luck - the hotel the police dropped us off at is full. FULL. No rooms. Time to try a different one. I'm so exhausted now, I tried speaking in English to the receptionist but he didn't understand at all - so then I had to switch to French.

I'm actually really surprised at how fast my French is improving here, I still don't understand everything extremely well on the first go, but even only having been in French-speaking lands for a few hours I'm already starting to understand people really quickly.

Anyway, he's giving us directions to another hotel where we can go try our luck. More walking it is, then...