7 things you never knew about Singapore

I love Singapore. I was born there, raised there, and educated all my life there. But because we're such an obscure little country in the middle of South-East Asia, barely anyone knows anything about us. So here's a little bit of information for those who might for some reason be curious about our tiny city-state.

#1 Our first language is English.

Curious but true. Lots of people think it's Mandarin Chinese - and indeed, with a 70% ethnically Chinese demographic you might be forgiven for thinking it is. Actually, no, scratch that - never tell a Singaporean "Wow your English is so good!" because you'll just be attracting raised eyebrows. It's the language used in schools, on signboards, at the workplace, and many of us also speak it at home. We're all bilingual, though - depending on our ethnic background (70% Chinese, 15% Malay, 10% Indian, 5% 'others'), we're taught a compulsory second language, such as Mandarin 'Chinese for the ethnically Chinese, Malay for the ethnically Malay and so on. We also speak Singlish, which is a colloquial English pidgin.

And oh, how we love our Singlish (even if the government doesn't).

#2 We have our own passport. And flag, and national anthem.

We aren't part of China, or Malaysia, or any other country. We're an independent nation! We've been independent since 1965 - we were first a British colony, until 1942 when we were occupied by the Japanese during World War II. In 1945 the British returned, although we were granted varying degrees of self-governance from 1955 to 1963. In 1963 we joined the Federation of Malaysia, leaving British rule, although this didn't work out particularly well.

By 1965 we were a fully independent nation, although not by choice (we were unceremoniously booted from the Federation after souring ethnic relations between Malay-majority Malaysia and Chinese-majority Singapore). This is when founding father Lee Kuan Yew famously cried on TV.

Start at 1:22.

So while we may once have been a part of Malaysia, we've never been a part of China. Many ethnically Chinese Singaporeans are descended from south-Chinese immigrants, but only in the same way that many Americans are of Irish heritage. Singapore gahmen*, Singapore style. Can? :)

*a Singlish bastardisation for 'government'

#3 Try finding us on a map. Just try it.

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Found it yet? No? I'll give you a bit more time.

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Given up? Okay, here we are.

#4 It takes 45 minutes to get from one end to the other.

The longest expressway/highway we have is called the Pan Island Expressway (PIE) and it's 41km long. Getting from Changi Airport to Tuas Checkpoint will take you about 45 minutes in smooth traffic. Because Singapore is so small, everything runs fast fast fast, and we've got a brilliant transport system. Our underground rail network is called the Mass Rapid Transport (MRT) system, with trains arriving an average of 3-5 minutes in between. Buses are fast, too. No one really times their departures - if we miss a bus or train, we wait for the next one, no big deal. Just try to avoid rush hour between 6AM-9AM and 6PM-9PM; that's when everyone goes to or comes back from work, and you really don't want to be packed like sardines on your commute.

#5 We use abbreviations a lot.

"The other day, I left my house and drove from the TPE to the PIE, headed towards the CTE to go to KKH to visit a relative who's in the ICU. Then sway sway kena traffic jam because some goondu driver go and buang another car. The accident so serious that got SCDF and TP come down to the scene. Everybody drive slow slow to copy the license plate number so later can buy 4D. Jam nevermind! After that kena ERP! Not one but two! Alamak! Total $3 leh! I already see my MP to complain: why LTA put so many ERP everywhere? I buy car, COE already so expensive my POSB already no money. Now everything so expensive. Stupid PAP lah! Everything also want us to pay and pay. Somemore my CPF already no money. I go CDC but government say I not poor enough - go ask FSC for help maybe better. Why no money? Because I used my CPF-OA to buy a HDB BTO in AMK, and took a loan from OCBC. Regret sia. So expensive. Stay CCK cheaper. If I want to pay that kind of price, I should have bought a DBSS or an EC. Hai... At least my HDB nearby got NTUC, CC, KFC, LJS, AXS, and GV. URA plan also good. Next time got one LRT station also! But then hor, now public transport also kena sai. SMRT and SBS bus and train also break down. Now rain also got flood, but PUB say never flood, only ponding. Where got such nonsense? The minister should go TTSH and check his eyes or go IMH to check his head. Nowadays, PAP bring in so many FT. More than half from PRC. Then make them work until so hard they strike. Donno what MOM think they doing sia. Worse still, nowadays, I read the ST from SPH, everyday got NSF die left, right, centre. Want to ORD also cannot ORD, but instead go RIP. Maybe I go stay JB better."

* Credits to Jonathan Sim for this amazing show of Singlish!

#6 We love our food.

Eating and shopping are our national hobbies - we have a ton of shopping malls and we love our laksa, rojak, chicken rice, oyster omelettes, sambal stingray, and everything else you can find at hawker centres. We've got an amazing food scene because of the way that our demographic (70% Chinese, 15% Malay, 10% Indian, 5% Eurasian or 'others') has brought so many food cultures into a melting pot of Uniquely Singapore food. Make no mistake - the way to a Singaporean's heart is through his/her stomach.

I have known my parents to drive for 40 minutes into heavy traffic just to get fish soup on the other side of the island.

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Supper in Singapore doesn't mean food at 7PM - it means the meal after dinner, what is known in Mandarin Chinese as 宵夜 (xiāo yè). It's the fourth meal of the day, after breakfast lunch and dinner. Hawker centres will stay open past midnight for late-night diners.

I think Singaporean food is the best in the world... But then again, I'm Singaporean, so of course I'm right. Ha ha ha!